Her World Was Spinning
by DreamerFirst
Summary: She felt her world spinning around her, as she suddenly had to imagine a world where Castle no longer existed. One-shot; maybe with enough reviews i'll make it a 2 or 3 shot...
1. Chapter 1

Re-dialing the same number again, Becektt pulls up to the crime scene and parks the sedan. She can't figure out why Castle isn't answering, but at this point she doesn't care; she had already left him a voicemail about the crime scene, if he didn't show she'll call again after she learns more about the body drop she was approaching. Lanie and Esposito were on vacation, Ryan had the day off, and who really knows where Perlmutter was. So the ME was someone she had never met and she'd be working this one alone, if the case got to big she could always ask Karpowski's team for help. But Castle should be enough of her team to solve a case, even though she would never tell him that.

The body was covered as she walked towards it and she asked, "What've we got?" to the ME; not paying any attention to her, he replies, "White male, two shots to the head. Face is so messed up, I'll have to ID him through fingerprints. I'll know more when I get him back to the morgue," and turns away. 'Okay rude' Beckett though as she took her phone out of her pocket and re-dialed Castle's number for the 13th time that morning. "God answer your…." Was all she got out of her mouth before she heard a phone ringing. It was so clearly coming from under the white sheet covering the victim. Her face dropped and everyone around her stopped and looked at the body. She quickly hung up and just as abruptly the ringing stopped. "That could just be a coincidence," she tried to tell herself.

Her world had just dropped into the abyss. Her morning went from the usual to possibly the worst. She knelt down next to the body and thought to herself "it's not him, it can't be him." She couldn't bring herself to lift the sheet up and instead asked the ME, "What else do you know about the victim?"

"Well it wasn't a robbery, credit card and cash left in the wallet, along with some pictures, but none of him just some red-head. No ID though."

She couldn't move, her world was spinning all over the place. Suddenly she had to picture a world where Castle no longer existed. That though alone made her blood run cold. She needed to know. Slowly she grabbed the end of the white blanket and took a deep breath in. bracing herself she pulled the blanket down to the man's chest, and took a deep look. The ME definetly wasn't lying when he said that no facial recognition could be made. But he had the same body type, and dressed the same. This could be him. Suddenly she couldn't breathe. That could be Castle, the man she loves and never told lying in front of her dead. 'Pictures of a redhead,' his daughter. Those would definetly be the only pictures he kept in his wallet.

As much as she tried to convince herself otherwise, it was becoming more and more apparent that his mad could be Richard castle. She called him again, and again the phone on the body rang. She searched for it and found the phone in the back pants pocket. Sure enough the front screen read "Kate Beckett."

She lost it. Somehow she had made it back to the sedan before she broke down. All of the sudden, Kate couldn't remember how to breathe. She had let Castle die without telling him she loved him. And even worse he died believing that she didn't hear his own love confession to her. He was always there for her even when she pushed him away, God she felt like a terrible person.

She didn't know how long she was sitting in the car, and she couldn't remember when she had begun crying. But as she looked up the clock it read and hour later and her eyes were as red as the blood at the crime scene. Then she remembered something, "pictures of a redhead." Alexis. Suddenly Kate knew what she had to do. She couldn't let some un-personable Detective deliver this heartbreaking news to the poor girl. Kate whipped her eyes, and somehow ended up in front of the loft. She didn't remember how she got there but she knew what she needed to do.

It took Kate a good 10 minutes staring at the door before she finally picked up her hand to knock. But just as she did that the door swung open and out came Alexis.

"Detective, what are you doing here?"

But Kate just started blankly at the girl. She was so young and happy; all dressed up and obviously had plans. Kate couldn't help but think that she was just about to tell this bright, young woman the worst news she could ever hear. And she began to tear up again.

"Kate, what's the matter? Are you okay?" she asked clearly now worried for her own sake. Kate almost chuckled, Alexis was worried about her, and she was her to deliver the worst news ever.

"May I come in?" she said when she finally found her voice, "we need to talk."

Alexis looked confused, "I was actually just headed out but.." she said as looked at the blank, clearly hurting face of Kate Beckett, "..but come on in, I can spare a few minutes.."

Kate walked to the couch and gestured for Alexis to do the same. "Kate you're scaring me what's wrong?"

"When your dad thought he was cursed he asked me to watch after you if anything ever happened to you.." Kate said as she watched the young redheads face slowly drop to the floor. Kate got up and began to pace.

"Kate, I'm confused, cause dad..."

"Of course I said I would, and that's why I'm here. And I want you to know I'll always be here for you if you need anything." She was rambling.

Alexis stood up and grabbed Kate's shoulders. "You need to take a deep breath." Kate obeyed and just as she was about to speak the front door opened.

"Why Detective Beckett, to what do we owe the please this morning?"

"Castle?" Beckett asked excitedly as she ran over and hugged him.

"Not that I'm complaining.. but what is this all about?"

"Where is your phone?" asked Kate

"Right.. about that, I lost it last night on my way home. Must have fallen out of my pocket, I was just at the store buying a new one and then I was going to head down to the precinct" Castle says as he pull a brand new iPhone out of his pocket and shows it off, "why what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing, just meet me at the precinct when you're done here and I'll catch you up on the case." And she walked out the door.

"That was strange," said Castle.

"Definitely," his daughter replied.

As Kate walked out of the loft to the elevator, she felt a sea of relief flash over her; and at the same time she chuckled. If Castle ever found out why she was so worried, he would never left her live it down.


	2. Chapter 2

"Did you really ask Kate to watch after me if anything ever happened to you?" his daughter inquired. "I mean I'm happy to hear that you have plans for me if anything every happened, but I mean I barely know Kate and she's a cop. I mean she would have to work crazy hours, and I know financially we would be okay but.." she was rambling, she tended to do that when she was nervous.

Rick grabbed her shoulders, just like Alexis had grabbed Kate's moments ago, "Whoa whoa whoa, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon so don't worry." He tried to calm her down and then added, " Plus I've got a bullet proof vest."

Alexis giggled and wrapped him in a big hug. "I love you dad"

"I love you too pumpkin," he replied as he hugged his girl back

"Now, go find out why Kate was acting so weird," She insisted.

Rick laughed, but obeyed. He was rather curious as to Kate's strange behavior and why she told Alexis about that conversation they had long ago. Once he finally convinced Alexis that he was going to be okay, he left her his new phone number and left for the precinct. On the way he began to worry about Beckett, he had never seen her act so weird, even when the case involved her mother. He hoped everything was okay.

As the elevator dings and Rick steps of he sees the precinct abuzz but he does not see his team. Ryan and Esposito's desks are empty, as is Beckett's. 'That's weird, did I beat her back here?" he though; until he say Beckett walking out of the break room with a coffee cup in her hand. Typical, he thought.

"To what did I owe that very unexpected appearance at my house this morning?"

Nonchalantly Kate answered, "We had a case, you were the only one on my team available and you weren't answering your phone."

"Mhmmm, and why is it that my daughter asked me if I asked you to watch out for her if anything ever were to happen to me? Because I know for a fact I never told her we had that conversation."

Rick was stern, no longer smiling and being his fun loving self. He was in papa bear mode, a side of his that Kate often forgot he had.

"So what's really going on Kate? Not only did you show up at my house this morning, but you started rambling on to my daughter about a conversation we had that she really didn't need to know about."

"You think she doesn't need to know about that Rick? What if something were to happen to you? You think she would just be okay with me coming in and taking care of her? OF course she needs to know!"

"Okay what is going on? I've always come home at the end of the night and I've been doing this for a few years now. Why are you all of the sudden so worked up about my well being?" questioned Rick. This behavior was so unlike her. Their relationship had grown immensely in the last 3 years, but they had never really had a talk about what it would be like for her if something happened to him. Of course they were more than partners; they were friends, best friends even. How had he never thought of this? He always had a plan, he made plans for Alexis and mother God forbid anything should happen, but he never thought about what would happen to Kate.

As all of these thoughts kept going through his head he had almost forgotten that Kate was standing in front of him. Her demeanor had changed, her body language changed drastically from her little outburst to now. She had a hurt look in her eyes.

"Are you honestly asking me why I care about your well being? You have it all worked out for Alexis if anything were to happen to you, but what about me-e?" she stuttered, "You think I would just go back to my life like it was before you started shadowing me? Because no matter how hard I tried to keep you out of my life, you certainly found your way under my skin."

Her eyes began to pool tears but she quickly pulled them back in and began to walk away toward the break room. "Never mind Rick," she called over the shoulder, "I can take this case without for now. Go home to your daughter, I'm sure I freaked her out enough for one day." She called in Rick, that's how he knew he couldn't walk away. She was serious about this and it was obvious that she was hurt. But his question was not meant as a dig at her, he was honestly curious as to what came over her all of the sudden. He quickly followed after her into the empty break room.

"Kate I know you care, that's not what I was asking."

"Then what were you asking Castle?" Kate says with her back turned as she made a cup of coffee. Oh man, Rick thought, now she's calling him Castle again.

Rick sighs; he is treading water here, and knows he must go about this delicately. "I know you care, I was just curious as to why all of the sudden you are bringing this up. I wasn't even in a dangerous situation this morning and.." her head snaps up at this comment. His eye brows raise and she knows she's been caught.

"Was I Kate?" Rick asks as he steps towards her and forces her to turn around and look him in the eye, "Did something happen this morning before I go on the case?"

Kate signs, "Follow me, okay?" Kate leaves her freshly brewed cup of coffee in the office and he follows her all the way to Lanie's office without a word or a question. Once they reach the morgue Kate leads him in towards the slab with a covered body on it. They are alone and the tension between them is growing. "This is the body we found this morning," Kate says and she walks over to grab his personal belongings, "his face was unrecognizable because of the gunshots, but his body description was a perfect match to you." Before he could even get a word out Kate kept speaking, "the only thing on him was a wallet and phone. The wallet still had cash in it and pictures. One of the ME's assistants said the only pictures in it were of 'a redhead' and as I was calling your phone the phone on the victim began to ring. Clearly I jumped to a conclusion."

"But it wasn't me. Clearly it was my phone, so I guess I know where that ended up." Kate laughed, even in her saddened state; he still managed to make her smile. Rick stepped forward and grabbed her hands, again forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Kate I'm right here. I'm not that body lying on the table; I'm the body that is standing right in front of you. And I'm not going anywhere." Again this made Kate smile, "But I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions," she stuttered, "I'm a cop for Christ's sake, I should have thought with my head and looked at the pictures and names of the credit cards. But when the phone started ringing and my name showed up as the caller ID I just lost it." Kate sighed again and broke their eye contact, she felt as small as an ant right not.

Rick raised her chin with his hand and said, "Thank you."

This surprised Kate, she made that apparent by the look on her face and Rick chuckled. "Why?" she questioned.

"Because you care, you thought I was gone and the first person you thought of wasn't yourself it was my daughter. You went to my house and told her that you were ready to take care of her because her father was gone. That's what makes you phenomenal Kate, you're so selfless."

She scoffed, "Selfless? You give me way to much credit Rick. I went to your house after I gave myself plenty of time to break down in my car. Your daughter deserves someone better than that" she sighs, "you deserve someone better than that," she says with a whisper and this time she lets a tear escape down her cheek.

He quickly wipes that tear and says, "You still don't get it do you? I don't want better than that. I just want that." He says as he leans in to kiss her. And contrary to his thoughts, she doesn't protest.


End file.
